For the best relationship insight and advice, turn to a divorce
attorney. After all, every day they have a front-row seat to the kinds
of petty drama and missteps that lead couples to split up.
1. They give each other the silent treatment.
“It’s a bad sign if a couple bickers and it results in the silent
treatment. Sure, fighting is healthy in a relationship but when it turns
from playful to serious on a regular basis — and it ends in
stonewalling — that doesn’t bode well for long-term success.” — Jason
Levoy, an attorney and divorce coach in New York City
2. Their s*x life is lackluster.
“This seems obvious and it is. People can go without s*x, but the
bottom line is that we are living creatures and s*x is a natural desire.
Yes, there are relationships that endure without s*x, but as a divorce
lawyer, it’s not a shock when a client tells me they have gone years
without having s*x with their partner.” — Randall M. Kessler, an
attorney in Atlanta, Georgia.
3. They have very little in common.
“While it’s true that opposites attract, don’t assume that the
qualities you fell in love with are going to keep a marriage together.
For example, if someone is an extrovert and loves going out until the
wee morning hours and the other spouse likes a warm bath at 7 p.m.
followed by a glass of milk and a good book, there is no way the couple
can sustain this lifestyle distance.” — Lisa Helfend Meyer, a divorce
attorney in Los Angeles, California
4. Their careers always come before the family.
“It can be a problem when a partner always puts his or her career
above everything else, including the relationship. This tends to be
true, regardless of the agreement the couple has come to during the
marriage. For example, my firm has represented laser-focused military
members, whose partners initially agreed to take a backseat and raise
the family so the military member could advance. But over the years, the
stay-at-home spouse begins to resent the situation. Even the strongest
relationships decay over time when one person puts their career
aspirations ahead of the relationship.” — Christian Denmon, a divorce
attorney in Tampa, Florida
5. They have contempt for one another.
“Eye-rolling, belittling and treating each other with disdain are key
indicators that a relationship will eventually disintegrate. While
spouses don’t have to always see eye-to-eye to have a happy marriage,
they do have to respect each other and appreciate their differences,
rather than viewing those differences as being signs that the other
spouse is stupid or wrong.” — Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach
in Chicago, Illinois
6. They don’t respect each other’s love language.
“Knowing your partner’s love language — being aware of how he or she
feels appreciated — is crucial for long-term success in marriage.
Although spouses may love each other, they may not feel loved if they
have different love languages. For instance, if one spouse shows love by
doing helpful things or by buying gifts, but the other receives love
through verbal affirmations, loving touch or quality time together, the
love may not really be received.” — Dennis A. Cohen, an attorney and
mediator in Marina del Rey, California
7. They’re not honest about their spending.
“A marriage is a partnership and each person should be accountable to
the other for their family’s finances. When the finances are split,
it’s easy for both partners to overspend. A couple can keep separate or
joint bank accounts, but when there is no transparency on how money is
being spent and saved, it’s nearly impossible to set and reach financial
goals like buying a home or planning for retirement. It becomes a
growing frustration.” — Puja A. Sachdev, a divorce attorney in San
8. They never fight.
“Many spouses tend to avoid awkward situations and problems by either
‘shading the truth’ or ignoring something that has been on their mind.
This leads to resentment. This person is your best friend, confidante
and lover. You should be able to say anything to them. You should be
able to to accept one another’s comments without destroying the bonds of
matrimony.” — Douglas S. Kepanis, a divorce attorney in New York city.