Nneji told the Sun in a chat: “I was not molested as a child; that is
why I am finding it so difficult to believe this is happening today.
What is going on? Are we losing our humanity? I never experienced all
those things growing up in my village in Cross River State.
“As a village boy, I started singing and dancing, and those things
(abuses) were not common. So, I don’t know what is happening to the
society of today. What is going on? It is as if the devil has just
descended and he is taking people over and causing them to do terrible
things. Parents are molesting children; it is unthinkable and sickening,
It is a terrible thing.
“That is why every sane human being needs to stand up against these
things. For husbands who beat up their wives, I think it is very
childish. They need to grow up. Why would you raise up your hand to beat
a woman? It doesn’t make any sense. I heard that some women also beat
up their husbands (laughs); women need to grow up too.
“I took part in the recent walk against domestic violence, I hope
that it is going to inspire my colleagues in the entertainment industry
to stand up and join us in this fight against domestic violence and
child abuse. I would also hope that this would prick the consciences of
people who engage in such acts and help them to turn around. So, I hope
it goes a long way in making an impact.”
The ‘Oruka’ crooner further spoke about marriage, noting that it is not a bed of roses.
He said, “Let me tell you the truth, people have written books and
books about marriage, but I tell you that no two marriages are the same.
I cannot tell you that I have a formula and you can use that formula
and apply to your marriage and it will work. You know why? It is because
marriage is between two people from two different backgrounds, who have
two different upbringings and they come together.
“Now what make marriages are the two people involved. First, they
must decide they want a marriage. It is a choice you make. Once you make
up your mind that you want the marriage to be successful then you do
everything possible to make it succeed. It does not mean you and your
spouse would not have disagreements, you would have disagreements; don’t
let us lie to ourselves.
“But you will make sure the disagreement does not degenerate into
something destructive and then begin to affect the relationship. It
entails the willingness to bend at any point in time, the willingness to
shift position. Do not say, ‘This is what I believe, I stand here and
if it doesn’t happen this way, then the walls must come down’. No, don’t
do that. It is a decision between the two people involved. Once they
have decided that they want the marriage to work, it would work.
“There is always a sign that a relationship is going to work out or
not, at the dating stage. I am appealing to the young people to be very
aware, to open their eyes, and to be very sensitive. If you are dating a
guy and he exhibits traits of violence, maybe he hits you, beats you up
and then apologises afterwards, that is an indication that you are into
a potentially abusive relationship. So, you should do the needful at
that point in time.
“It’s very important. Most people go into relationships, saying, ‘oh,
he’s going to change. I will change him’, it never happens that way.
Once you see a trait, it is going to get amplified as time goes on.
“Now, those who are already in abusive relationship find it a very
difficult situation, because you begin to think about the years you have
put into the relationship, you begin to think about the children
involved, family, and society. How would they see you that you could not
stay in your marriage?
“There are so many things you begin to consider, but you as the
person in that relationship should come to the understanding that it is
probably time for you to do something, something drastic about it
because you might end up losing your life. We have heard cases of people
losing their lives in abusive relationships. You should get to a point
where enough is enough, but elasticity is for whoever is in the
relationship to determine. Be sincere with yourself, forget society,
forget family, and forget what people would say.
“Look at your life, look at that relationship, look at the children
and be sincere with the situation and judge it accordingly,” Nneji
What do you think?